Some helpful hints for a safe, fun and inexpensive living

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Location: Chesapeake, VA & Saratoga, NY

Mon Sep 30, 2013 2:49 pm

DIET TIP: Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. The subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea will enable you to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

FINANCE TIPS: Save on electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

Save on gasoline by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

HOUSEHOLD TIPS: Drill a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

INEXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT: At work, put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Buy a television set exactly like your neighbors. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.

During rush hour, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road.

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" "3rd time this week!" Do the same at the laundromat change machines.

PARKING TICKETS: Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

PERSONAL HYGEINE: No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

SAFETY TIP: Never attempt to fasten your shoe laces in a revolving supermarket door.

TRAVELING TIP: Avoid the need to pack bulky shampoo bottles, which can leak in your suitcase, by arranging for the whole family to have 'skinhead' haircuts a day or two before departure.

When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.
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Location: Connecticut

Mon Sep 30, 2013 3:04 pm

The one about saving on electricity and wearing a miner's hat- if my Dad could have gotten away with that, he would have done it, but Mom was around :D

I have done that thing at ATM and coin machines when people are around, they seem to get a kick out of it. Also works when you got to a restaurant like Chili's and they give you those big pagers that light up to tell you your table is ready.

My sister and I used to have a lot of fun as kids- growing up in a rural area. Because it was so quiet, the driving schools would bring the new drivers up there to learn. When we saw that car with the sign on it - one of us would pretend to choke the other one, and fall to the ground. Couldn't get away with that nowadays.
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Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:12 pm

Not that we turned the lights out, but my department received headlamps for our hard hats last week, so my coworkers and I spent some of our time acting like little kids at Christmas. My favorite was walking over to the HUGE cabinet we have for chemical storage, opening the door, and exclaiming "Look, I can see all the way to Narnia!" :D
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Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:01 am

Ballerina wrote:When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" "3rd time this week!" Do the same at the laundromat change machines.
I do a variation of this at work when I have to use the change machine by the vending machines. Its always ends up being a $20 and it gives the gold dollar coins, so if anyone else is up near there, I yell when inserting the money, "Come on Jackpot!" then when it starts coming out, something along the lines of "YES!!!!! JACKPOT!!!!" I've tricked a couple people to come over when I was doing this. ;) Of course, then they called me some unsavory names.

And if the lights go out at work, all hell usually breaks loose, because there is literally one window and its further down the plant. I like to yell, "OMG WHO IS TOUCHING ME?!?!?"
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