Daily Laugh

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ElPrado2
Posts: 1674
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Wed May 27, 2015 9:02 am

Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; my brother might have been coming."
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Ballerina
Posts: 3055
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:22 pm
Location: Chesapeake, VA & Saratoga, NY

Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:47 am

Catalina
Posts: 3201
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 5:08 pm
Location: South Texas

Sun Jun 28, 2015 10:48 am

:lol:
BlindLucky
Posts: 3314
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:22 am
Location: North Carolina
Contact:

Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:58 pm

A raccoon died on a Toronto street and animal control failed to pick it up in a timely manner, so this happened throughout the day... :lol:

#DeadRaccoonTO

http://www.buzzfeed.com/craigsilverman/ ... .bwZvm4Y8a

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Photos from my racing travels: ThoroughbredJourney.com
BlindLucky
Posts: 3314
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:22 am
Location: North Carolina
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Tue Oct 06, 2015 1:38 pm

Horseware Ireland used some pony "employees" in a little video for their Rambo factory :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=2&v=a32KbZ6pUOE
Photos from my racing travels: ThoroughbredJourney.com
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Starine
Posts: 4083
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:39 am
Location: South Carolina

Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:06 pm

Taken from a real Dear Abby column:
DEAR ABBY: My calico cat, Rosie, seems to be fixated on my next-door neighbor Ron. Every morning Rosie grooms herself for an hour, then jumps in the window to watch for Ron to go for his morning run. She sits there until Ron comes out of his house. He exercises a lot and has kept himself in shape, while I admit I have let myself go. As soon as she sees him, Rosie starts purring.

I have to say that I resent this. I provide her with room and board and brush her regularly, but while I'm doing it, she watches the window intently and then bolts to her lookout post if Ron appears. I bought new window treatments, which she scratched her way through, damaging the blinds and shades. Filling her food dish strategically before Ron goes out doesn't deter her.

I love my cat, but I feel she is being unfaithful. What should I do?

P.S. I'm happily married (my wife thinks I'm crazy) and Rosie has been fixed. -- LARRY IN DELAWARE

DEAR LARRY: What a sad situation. Few things are more painful than feeling rejected by a love object. You didn't mention how sedentary you are, but it's possible that Rosie watches Ron because he is a moving object. Consider joining Ron on his runs and you may find Rosie is watching you, too. However, if that doesn't work, you may have to share the affections of your cat. Accept it.
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Big Ten
Posts: 683
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:35 am

Wed Dec 02, 2015 5:15 am

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Rock Hard Ten. Free House. Soul Of The Matter. Lit de Justice. Zenyatta. Justify. Cigar. Ghostzapper. Lava Man. Silver Charm.
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Sparrow Castle
Posts: 4959
Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:44 pm

Sat Dec 05, 2015 12:53 am

How you know you're way too deep into horseracing...there's very little in here that made me go "huh?"

Beemie Awards
‏@BeemieAwards
We've lost some great things this year in 2015. This is the Beemie Awards In Memorium Video Tribute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZIUxVR5t5M
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Starine
Posts: 4083
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:39 am
Location: South Carolina

Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:45 pm

Image
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Starine
Posts: 4083
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:39 am
Location: South Carolina

Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:04 pm

How About Some Oregon Militia Homoerotic Fan Fiction?
http://www.joemygod.com/2016/01/06/how- ... n-fiction/

^^Best thing I have read all day.
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canvasjockey
Posts: 136
Joined: Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:11 pm

Starine wrote:How About Some Oregon Militia Homoerotic Fan Fiction?
http://www.joemygod.com/2016/01/06/how- ... n-fiction/

^^Best thing I have read all day.
^Hahaha!! They can enjoy reading that while they open up all the "adult" toys people have been sending them!

My cat Cabot stood in as my expert consultant on my latest portrait today...

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Carole ~ Equine Artist
Website/Blog - Facebook - Prints and Originals on Etsy & Fine Art America
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"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." - W. C. Fields</div>
lurkey mclurker
Posts: 2271
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:15 pm

Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:46 am

Starine wrote:Image
can't... stop... staring...

(srsly, can't look away because of firm conviction that SOMEBODY IS GOING TO POUNCE ANY SECOND NOW!) :lol:
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Starine
Posts: 4083
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:39 am
Location: South Carolina

Fri Jan 22, 2016 6:47 pm

I'm glad someone acknowledged it. I thought it was mesmerizing. :lol:
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Starine
Posts: 4083
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:39 am
Location: South Carolina

Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:58 pm

‘Don’t Walk On Fish’: 28 Worrying Soviet Accident Prevention Posters
http://flashbak.com/dont-walk-on-fish-2 ... ign=buffer
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Sparrow Castle
Posts: 4959
Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:44 pm

Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:50 pm

Sunday sports a little boring today? I've played around in this myself.

Carly Kaiser ‏@carlykaiser
Man after all the WWII vets came out to see him being named "Silver Bean" would have been so lame in comparison
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HAHAHA They spelled Verrazano's name wrong at first
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Remember when they wanted to know what "Lusty Vicar" meant
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Big fans of repetition
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A horse named Indy Ana Jones totally stealing the Blue Grass would have been awesome.
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Bodemeister went through two names before they settled, Bradelberry (lol) and Graham N Spike.
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"Well if they don't pick Real Quiet lets try REALLY Quiet" - Mike Pegram
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I wonder what its like to have a name you reserved get rejected at first.
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OH MY GOD HARD SPUN AS ALMOST "PIANO MAN"?!!
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The gutsy gelding Mr. Evasive!
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They had a really odd list of possibilities for him @howarddschmidt
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Somehow "A Li'l Promise" wouldn't have been nearly as fun as LAVA MAN
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Check it out, Bayern was all set as Tahrir Square but they changed it.
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How about Edd? No. Eddd? Nope. Edddd? Nope. WELL FINE WHAT ABOUT EDUARDO?!
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It really breaks my heart that Game On Dude was so close to being named Gangster of Love
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Can you imagine how annoying the headlines would have been if "Heir Apparent" was going for the Triple Crown?
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My god, his name was almost Droan Attack. #PepperRoani
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Holy sweet jesus thank god they accepted California Chrome
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Melissa Bauer-Herzog ‏@mbauerherzog
From pants to beer.
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I'd love to see the official explanation of what Effinex's name means.
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Della
Posts: 598
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:24 am
Location: Plymouth Meeting, near Philly, PA
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Mon Feb 01, 2016 11:29 am

I heard he named him after his ex-wife ;)
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Miesque1973
Posts: 238
Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2013 1:38 pm

Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:08 am

Jeanne Robertson tells this story:

She was at an airport somewhere, waiting at the terminal for a flight. She and several other people waiting could not help but overhear a heated argument between a woman and her sixteen-year old daughter. They were fighting about a boy that the girl wanted to date. The mother was totally against it.

The argument went on and on, and the girl said, "You can take me on this trip. You can even take away my cell phone. But when we get home, I'm going to go out with [that boy]!" The mother continued to disagree, and the argument went on, back and forth, with the entire population of the terminal listening and trying to be quiet and not be obviously listening. But it was obvious they were all listening, because everyone there burst into laughter when the girl shouted, "Of course he's a good person, Mama! Why do you think he's doing two hundred hours of community service?!"

~Miesque
Vice does not change its character by becoming fashionable.
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Miesque1973
Posts: 238
Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2013 1:38 pm

Mon Mar 21, 2016 2:03 pm

I thought this was worth a giggle:

President Nixon, President Clinton and President Obama are all standing before God, who is sitting on His throne, judging them.

Nixon says, "I'm sorry I lied to the American people."

Clinton says, "I'm sorry I got caught lying to the American people."

Obama says, "Hey, what are you doing on my throne?!"

~Miesque
Vice does not change its character by becoming fashionable.
BaroqueAgain1
Posts: 9879
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 6:16 pm

Mon Mar 21, 2016 4:00 pm

If you're going to take a shot at the POTUS, perhaps you should do it in the Political section? :?
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